How I Manage Flight Anxiety When Flying With Kids
Flight anxiety when flying with kids is a unique kind of hard. You’re managing your own spiraling thoughts, trying not to pass that fear onto your children, and trying to hold it together while still parenting through the flight.
And when you’re the only adult on the plane with your kids, that pressure can feel even heavier.
The truth is, you can be an experienced traveler and still feel this way. I’ve flown my whole life, I run a travel blog, and I’ve taken dozens of flights with my kids around the world, many of them as the only adult, and I still get severe flight anxiety every single time.
This post is a raw, real look at what flight anxiety feels like when you’re flying with kids. I’ll walk you through what has helped me, what hasn’t, and how I manage to keep going, even when the fear doesn’t go away.
I Grew Up Flying and I Still Have Flight Anxiety
Travel was a part of my life from the very beginning. I took my first cross-country flight from New York to Seattle when I was six months old. My dad was a private pilot, and we spent weekends flying around in little Cessnas. Flying always felt normal, even fun.
But somewhere in my teens, that shifted. My anxiety around flying got so intense that, for years, I refused to get on a plane at all. I skipped family trips. I took a train to Florida with my cousins instead of flying to Disney World with my parents. I found workarounds wherever I could.
Then, in college, I had the chance to travel to Seattle for a wedding and to Italy as part of a class. Both trips meant flying. And for the first time in years, my desire to go outweighed my fear. And I got back on a plane.
For a while, that worked. The anxiety didn’t disappear, but I could push through it. Takeoff, landing, and turbulence were always hard, but I could manage. My love of travel helped me keep going.
Airport Survival Guide for Families
Flying with kids? This guide walks you through the airport step by step, from packing and parking to security, boarding, baggage claim, and beyond.
Airport Survival Guide for Families helps you think through strollers, car seats, bags, TSA, bathrooms, snacks, gate-checking, delays, and all the little logistics that can make airport days feel like a lot.
It’s based on real family travel experience, including many flights where I was the only adult with my kids, and it’s written to help the airport part of your trip feel more manageable.
When Flying More Doesn’t Make It Easier
Over the last few years, flying has become a much bigger part of my life. My husband’s job as a commercial pilot gives us incredible flight benefits. I’m home with the kids full-time so I don’t have to worry about time off from a job. I started this travel blog. And suddenly, I find myself flying all the time—short flights, long-haul flights, domestic and international. Sometimes with the kids, sometimes without.
But instead of getting easier, it has gotten worse.
Now, every flight puts my body into full fight-or-flight mode, and I stay there for the entire duration, whether it’s a 45-minute hop or a 9-hour international flight. My stomach stays in a knot. My heart races the whole time. I listen to every sound the plane makes and watch the flight attendants’ faces for any hint of concern. My brain spirals with worst-case scenarios, even though I know, logically, how safe flying is.
And that’s the thing—I do know. My husband is a pilot. He’s walked me through every part of how airplanes work (many times). I’ve worked in airports. I know the statistics. But anxiety doesn’t always respond to logic.
The more I’ve flown, the harder it’s become. And I’ve reached the point where I sometimes want to cancel trips altogether. But I also don’t want fear to be the reason we stop traveling. Not with the life I’ve built, and not with two little kids I want to keep showing the world to.
Why Flying With Kids Makes This Even Harder
The funny thing is, my anxiety isn’t about my kids. I don’t worry about them being unsafe when we fly. I don’t even feel nervous about the idea of my husband taking them on a flight without me. I only feel anxious when I’m on the plane, whether I’m alone or with them.
But flying with my kids adds another layer, because now I’m trying to manage my anxiety and protect them from it. When I’m the only adult with them, that feels even harder.
I don’t want them to inherit this fear. I know I can’t control everything, but I want to make sure I’m not the reason they develop flight anxiety someday. That means staying calm on the outside even when I’m spiraling on the inside. It means learning better tools, so I can help them if they ever need those tools too.
It also means pushing through the exhaustion. Because flight anxiety isn’t just emotional—it’s physical. Being stuck in that state of tension for hours at a time leaves me completely drained. And when we land, I don’t always have time to rest. I may be renting a car, figuring out a new city, managing time zone shifts, or jumping straight into the next part of the trip with my kids.
So I’ve been trying to find ways to make it more manageable. Not perfect. Not anxiety-free. Just something I can keep moving through.
What Hasn’t Worked (For Me)
People are often quick to suggest ways to deal with flight anxiety, and some of them really do help. But I also want to be honest about the things that haven’t worked for me, because if you’ve tried them and they haven’t worked for you either, that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
For me, knowing how planes work hasn’t helped. My husband can explain every noise, every movement, every bit of turbulence. But even with all that knowledge, the anxiety stays.
I’ve gone through therapy and learned grounding techniques. They’re helpful in a lot of areas of life. But on flights, they haven’t made much of a dent.
I have a subscription to the Calm app, and I use it often to help me fall asleep. But in the air, I can’t keep headphones in. I feel this compulsive need to stay alert, hear everything, watch everything, and be aware of every shift. I can’t focus on a book or show, either. My brain just won’t settle enough to let anything in.
People suggested using motion sickness wristbands to help with the physical symptoms. I tried them and they didn’t help at all.
What Finally Has Started Helping
Eventually, I talked to my doctor. I explained everything: how often I fly, how intense the anxiety feels, and how much I still need to be able to function afterward. She prescribed medication for flight anxiety and talked me through what to expect, including whether it would make me too drowsy to parent or drive when we landed.
Important note: This is only my personal experience, not medical advice. If you’re considering medication for flight anxiety, talk with your own doctor about what is safe and appropriate for you, especially if you’ll be caring for kids, driving, or managing travel logistics after the flight.
I tested it at home first to see how my body would react, and I felt totally fine. So I brought it with me on my next flight to Florida.
The flight down was uneventful, but I didn’t notice much difference after taking the medication. On the way back, though, we hit major turbulence from a weather system that stretched the entire East Coast. The flight was so bumpy that there was no service at all and the flight attendants were instructed to stay seated for most of the flight. I took the first pill before we boarded, but an hour in, I still felt awful. So I took a second.
About thirty minutes later, something finally shifted. The anxious thoughts didn’t disappear completely, but my body started to calm down. The physical panic let up just enough that I could distract myself. I watched a show for the first time in a long time, and it actually helped. It felt like my body could finally exhale.
When I told my doctor what happened, she adjusted my prescription so the dose would be consistent moving forward.
Things That Might Help (If You’re Looking for Tools)
When I first started talking about flight anxiety more openly, I was blown away by how many other parents quietly felt the same way. And everyone had their own way of coping.
If you’re looking for ideas to try, here are some of the strategies that have helped other nervous flyers and parents manage their anxiety. Not everything will work for everyone, but sometimes just having a list to choose from is helpful in itself.
- Noise-canceling headphones with music or audiobooks to block out the hum of the plane and soften sensory overload
- Louder playlists made ahead of time, especially ones that feel comforting and familiar
- Snacks, soda, and motion sickness remedies to calm physical symptoms like nausea or dizziness
- Window seats, for those who like to visually orient themselves during turbulence (others prefer aisle for easy movement—there’s no wrong answer)
- Therapy, including EMDR, to help reprocess fear and reduce anxiety over time
- Natural remedies, if they are safe for you and something you want to explore
- Self-talk and gentle thought reframing, to stop spirals before they take over
- Prescription medication, if appropriate, and always in conversation with a doctor you trust
You don’t have to try all of these. Sometimes just having one or two tools in your back pocket makes a hard thing feel a little more doable.
Where I Am Now
I’m still working through it.
Some flights are better than others. Some days, I feel strong and prepared. Other days, I feel like canceling everything and staying home.
But I’ve found that the more I talk about it, the less power it has. And I wanted to write this for anyone else out there who feels the same way, especially if you’re trying to stay calm for your kids while holding in a panic attack at 30,000 feet.
Flight anxiety when flying with kids can feel incredibly isolating. But you’re not broken for feeling this way. You’re not dramatic, and you’re definitely not the only one trying to look calm on the outside while struggling on the inside.
Have questions about this post or want help thinking through the logistics for your own trip? Join my free Facebook community for parents planning family travel. You can ask questions, share what you’re working through, and get real-life advice from other parents who understand how many little details go into traveling with kids.